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[untilmydarknessgoes]

So, are we done whining and philosophizing about the meaning of life? You know, I keep thinking being dead for real couldn't get any worse, but then one of you starts talking and manage to prove me wrong.

I guess I shouldn't complain too much. [He sighs.] Somehow, you've managed to avoid the proselytizing. But I guess it might take a bigger crisis for that crap to kick in.

Seriously though. What the hell is there to do for fun around here besides listening to you guys carry on?

Comments

[routemistress]

Chris do you know 'ow many times I've tried to suggest that? I just get shot down 'cause mine are the 'ardest.

[mistconduct]

Okay, maybe not fight each other.

What about bears? Tuffy could fight a bear.

[routemistress]

What'd the poor bear ever do to you? 'Ow about flower arranging?

[mistconduct]

Pssh, no. Water colors?

[routemistress]

Oooh, now there's a thought. 'Ow about water colours, mossie?

[untilmydarknessgoes]

Sorry, am I supposed to dignify either of you airheads with a response?

[routemistress]

I think you just did, mossie.

...all right, dignify's putting it a bit strongly.

[untilmydarknessgoes]

I was about to say...

[routemistress]

Not very talented with watercolours, I take it?

[untilmydarknessgoes]

[Dryly:] Oh no. You figured out my deep, dark secret.

[routemistress]

[About as deep as spilled vodka on a bar top, she thinks. And then Iris stops herself, because much as Damon gets up her nose, taunting inmates isn't why she's here.]

There's jobs 'ere. Kitchen's usually looking. So's Dean looking for new bodies in Maintenance. Or I could use a pair of 'ands in the spa.

[untilmydarknessgoes]

[Damon makes a face. He doesn't work.]

Honey, I haven't worked a day in my life or afterlife. Not starting now.

[routemistress]

[Iris grins. She tried. No one can say she didn't try.]

The perfect little parasite. Why am I not surprised?

[untilmydarknessgoes]

The more important question is why were you stupid enough to suggest otherwise?

[routemistress]

I'll give you a piece of advice about me and Chris, lovey, even though I know you're too far up your own arse to take it.

Don't mistake our larking around for stupidity. Don't mistake our optimism for naivety. Especially not mine. It's taken me a long time to get it this sharp.

[mistconduct]

Oh my god you're me.

Ew.

You're me from the future. If I still was a huge dick.

[untilmydarknessgoes]

There's literally no comparison between you and me. Namely in the sense I'm infinitely better than you.

[mistconduct]

No we're like totally twins. To be honest it's kind of creeping me out. Except I'm just a little bit better than you are.

[untilmydarknessgoes]

You're a sweaty loser with a Paris Hilton dog. I'm a vampire who will never get old and, on the off-chance I do actually die for real, won't die a virgin.

I rest my case.

[mistconduct]

I am having so much magical sex with my magic boyfriend you wouldn't believe. Just because you can't get a date on the Barge, Tuffy, doesn't mean sex is not happening.

Also Bowie is adorable shut your smug Robert Pattinson face.

[untilmydarknessgoes]

When are you kids going to come up with more comebacks than shitting on Twilight? A little originality is not asking that much.

[mistconduct]

But it's sooo easy.

[untilmydarknessgoes]

Exactly why you shouldn't do it.

[mistconduct]

Fine. Be a dick.

[untilmydarknessgoes]

I never needed your permission in the first place.